Friday, April 27, 2007

The Darkest Light in Town / Can I Write?


The St. John's Bridge, North Portland, Oregon.
The sky was so ... non-existent. (It reminds me of a blank-background studio shot.) I was really drawn to the lamps this time, and didn't remember seeing them featured much in other photos of The Bridge.
See also this shot from the same session.


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I've fantasized about writing, journaling, blogging. ...Wroggaling.

I've thought: I could do that, I could be pretty good at that. Because I think that I handle words fairly well, and that I am able string them together into a complete thought, and that it usually communicates the idea I originally intended. That's a good start, right? I mean, think how much writing you have to deal with that does not get even /that/ far.

On top of that, I think I even write with style, or have the potential to develop style. Or at least I would know what a style was if one were to bite me. (My style, maybe, is the style of 'trying too hard.' That always goes over well. Also, I have the style of 'too many commas.' A proven winner, yes.)

My problem though is not ability, but committment. I've tried journaling before and it has always faded quickly away, run its course in short order. Failed. I get excited about the idea at some point (like now), and start writing again for several days in a row. But it doesn't last. I end up missing a day, and later missing a couple days, and then every day. This is how it goes with me and trying to form new habits. You can insert diet and exersize here, and generally being organized, and most other things that would make me a better person.

Another problem I have, when it comes to the idea of writing, is that I don't have an /exciting/ life, fertile with material about which to write. I don't find myself surrounded by drama. I certainly don't create drama. ...So what would I write about? Or more importantly, what would I write about that anyone would want to read?

Maybe what I really lack is imagination. Imagination about what is already going on around me that would make it write- and read-worthy. Maybe, and perhaps, many of the other good bloggers out there actually have lives similar to mine, with a similarly high mundane-quotient, but they are seeing the potential and making it sound good. I couldn't do that, probably.

What I don't think I lack is self-deprication. I think I'm pretty good at that. [Ironic, hmm?] And don't we all need more self-depricators in our lives, to help us feel better about ourselves? It saves us the trouble of putting others down if they are willing to do it themselves.

So here's my committment to you:
> I will fail at this. Probably several times.
> I will speak poorly of myself, from which you can infer whatever you want about yourself.
> I will provide jobs to millions of out-of-work punctuation marks. Until I fail to do that.

Nothing like dashing the hopes of an earnest semi-colon. -=-

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